Democrats have warned that they have almost 300 million available anecdotes.

WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic leadership in the U.S. Senate has announced they may respond to a threatened Republican filibuster against healthcare reform with a tedious litany of poignant but irrelevantly idiosyncratic stories about suffering Americans.

The mere threat of the rare parliamentary maneuver– nicknamed the “Anecdotathon” by the progressive Congressmen who invented it in the early twentieth century– could break the Republicans’ will and hasten the passage of a bill.

An Anecdotathon could also hurt the GOP by diverting attention away from the federal deficit and the near-insolvency of existing entitlement programs and toward Skip Willoughby of Festus, Missouri, and his heartbreaking personal narrative.

Remember Keith Olbermann?

He was the one-time must-see anti-Bush ranter who helped rescue MSNBC (yes, it’s still on at night) from even worse oblivion years ago.

Well, quietly last month while no one was looking, hardly anyone was watching Keith Olbermann anymore.

We did a deeper dive into Keith’s viewership:

H/T Matthew G.

UPDATE: I screwed up. Not even Keith Olbermann watches Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

SAN FRANCISCO – The popular “microblogging” site Twitter has announced that they have achieved positive revenue in the fourth quarter of their fiscal year by installing a snack food vending machine for their employees in the breakroom at their headquarters.

The company, which was founded in 2006, has heretofore struggled to formulate a viable business plan. Attempts to monetize the tremendous volume of “Tweeting” have failed.

It has been reported that Twitter’s venture capital investors (from whom the company has raised over $57 million) had placed pressure on the business to record revenue by the end of the 2009 fiscal year.

In a press conference Wednesday, co-founder Biz Stone first apologized for his name then remarked,

I cannot tell you how excited I am to stop using air quotes every time I talk about our “business”– today I can announce that Twitter has achieved positive revenue.

While we remain privately owned and financed, with a view to an eventual initial public offering, we are releasing a limited amount of information on our revenue results.

As you will see, the product mix is reasonably well-balanced, but we do have concerns about customer concentration. Fully 90% of Twitter’s fourth quarter revenue is derived from employee purchases and 30% can be ascribed to one individual, a software engineer who works on the second floor– we are therefore working on a strategy to broaden our customer base.

President Barack Obama has reportedly asked Stone to fly immediately to Washington D.C. to brief him on job creation and industrial policy.

See also (from Allahpundit): “Video: Obama ready to talk this economy back to life, baby.”