Archive for the ‘satire’ tag
ONION: Smart, Qualified People Behind the Scenes Keeping America Safe: ‘We Don’t Exist’
“Look, I understand your psychological need to invent someone like me so that you can stop worrying about imminent disasters and get some sleep at night,” said the hyper-articulate, Princeton-educated political-scientist jujitsu-master we’re all imagining. “But the reality is most of the smart, qualified people in this country are wasting away in assistant professorships at struggling public universities or making millions of dollars in some venture capital group. In fact, that’s exactly the kind of job I would have right now if I were a real person. Which I’m not.”
“But good luck with everything,” he added, or rather didn’t add, because he neither said anything nor even ever existed at all.
Wikileaks Founder Refuses To Reveal Source Of Own Insecurity

In related news, Bill Maher has joined the Norwegian national ballet.
SUPER-SECRET HIDING PLACE – Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, whose website has published large volumes of classified video and documents leaked from the United States military, refuses to reveal the source of his pathological insecurity and need to feel important.
Assange, whose propagandic work has revealed the names and locations of Afghan informants and generally endangered the lives of Americans and our allies, was quoted as saying something or other about “truth” and “light of day” or some stupid bullshit.
New Newsweek Owner Previews Next Three Covers To Demonstrate Editorial Continuity
Sen. Claire McCaskill Announces New Cartoons To Help Confused Missourians
Whether she’s addressing the financial meltdown, or the contentious new healthcare bill, or any other major public policy issue of the day, Claire McCaskill continues to exhibit preternatural patience with the benighted moonshiners of the state she represents.
But Claire has really outdone herself with the new series of cartoons and other pitch’ers she is creating so that Missourians might better understand the legislative process. In a Missourah.com exclusive, here is the first in the series. Thank you, Claire!
The Typical Drive Of A Chevy Volt
I’ve heard a lot of crowing recently about the Chevy Volt only getting 40 miles of all-electric driving. If you are one of the critics, please take a look at the map below and see for yourself how perfectly reasonable 40 miles is (click to enlarge)–
UPDATE: Thanks for the link, Unreligious Right! Also, Atomic Fungus and In My Copious Free Time.
Racism: Does It Racism, Or Does Racism Racists Racism?
USA – This morning, racism was racism when racist racially racism racisted. Racists throughout the racism are racist toward racism despite racists’ racism of racism. Although racists racially racism racist, racism has brought about racism amid racists and racism. Racism has a long racism of racists, and the racists racism racism are racially racist and racism.
Most racist American racists remain racist over the racism, sinking into almost racist racism after racistly racism. Yet the racism of the racist racism of our racist country presents racism as a racist racial racism.
The question of whether racism was a racist racism of the racism, an issue raised by a racist that had been racist to suggest as much, may have racist her a new racist, the racist said.
We’ve racist this racist versus racist and moved to a racism where racism can racist racism racist. Racists were hoping we would racist racism. But this is racism that racists’ racism racism racism, and racists are racism racism.
The racist, who is racist, was asked to racism after racism of her racist a racial racism surfaced showing racists racially racism to racists because of racism.
Racism racist racism, racist racially racism racist– racism’s racist racism racist racial racistly racism racism; racism racist’s racism racist racism. Racists racism racist, racism’s racism racists. Racism racist, racist racism racist racial racism, racism racism racism racism racism racism. Racism racism.









Via the White House Flickr 


