Bill Whittle praises President Obama’s long-awaited decision to send more troops to Afghanistan in the face of opposition from left-wing media stars such as Chris Matthews, Michael Moore, and Keith Olbermann. (Afterburner with Bill Whittle)

http://www.pjtv.com/v/2784. (PJTV still won’t let you embed videos.)

Word of the Day for Thursday, December 3, 2009

roborant \ROB-uh-ruhnt\, adjective:

1. Strengthening; restoring vigor.

noun:
1. A strengthening medicine; a tonic; a restorative.

I thought it was robo-rant [ROH-BOH-rant], and I thought it described that thing that hosts MSNBC’s Countdown.

ObamaBot 2000 wirelessly receives up to the minute Democratic talking points.

After receiving news that majority owner NBC Universal plans to mandate 10% operating budget reductions for 2010, MSNBC has announced their intention to replace “Countdown” host Keith Olbermann with a soulless automaton programmed to recite Democratic Party talking points.

The Wi-Fi-equipped “Obamabot” automaton also contains a voice modulation feature which can mimic a wide range of human voices, from righteous indignation to smug condescension.

MSNBC Associate Vice President of Programming Skip Willoughby remarked,

We don’t think anybody will be able to tell the difference. If anything, Obamabot has more of an independent streak.

Keith Olbermann has independently arrived at all the same positions of the Democratic National Platform.

The new platform replaces a 2008 Democratic National Platform which, at 59 pages, has been described as “verbose” and “too wonkish.”

Remarked Sen. Reid,

It is uncanny how closely Keith Olbermann’s beliefs resemble the official platform of the Democratic Party. I mean, I don’t even know anybody in Congress whose positions so faithfully align with our party. What are the chances that an individual and an organization like ours would achieve such perfect consonance that there is no evidence he has ever disagreed with our party on any issue, ever? It’s a pretty special thing, and that’s why we’ve made it the foundation of our National Platform. Besides, this is a lot easier than writing that thing all over again.

An employee of MSNBC who has worked for “Countdown with Keith Olbermann” and who asked not to be named reported that a harried Olbermann– who is yet to comment publicly on the new platform– was last seen Googling “political philosophy” and browsing the Wikipedia page for liberalism.

UPDATE: It is being reported that the Republican Party may be introducing a similar platform, preliminarily titled “Ask Sean Hannity.”

The Sultan of Smug is giddy to hear that Rahm Emanuel and David Axelrod agree with him that Fox News is “not a news organization.” However, about 3 minutes later, he plays a clip from Fox News of Arlen Specter criticizing the GOP.

Hey Keithers, why do you rely on reporting from those non-journalists at that non-news organization to support your condemnation of the Republican party? If Fox News is such a shitty organization, why don’t you go out and get your own scoops?– or better yet, interview a single person who disagrees with you.

On Countdown tonight, the Sultan of Smug could hardly contain his giddiness in playing “gotcha” with Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) about the “individual mandate” for health insurance. Here is the statement from Grassley that the Sultan played:

This is the first time in the 225-year history of our country that we have forced you as a constituent, any of our constituents, to buy a product. You know, you’ve been free to buy or not buy. But now for the first time you’re gonna have to buy health insurance… I’m not a lawyer, but let me tell you, I’ve listened to some lawyers speak on this, and you know it’s a relatively new issue, and I don’t think we’ve ever had this issue before of having to buy something. And a lot of constitutional lawyers are saying it is unconstitutional or at least a violation of the tenth amendment. Now maybe states could do this, but can the federal government do it? So I have my doubts.

Keith immediately zings Grassley with, “You heard of insurance on cars, Senator Grassley? Mandatory insurance on cars?”

I am going to guess that not only is Senator Grassley obviously aware of mandatory insurance on cars, but that he is aware that proponents of the mandate may cite such laws as precedent– I think it’s safe to assume that’s why he included the caveat, “maybe the states can do it.”

Guess what, Keith? The states can, and do, require auto insurance. The federal government does not, cannot and should not, for the reasons clearly stated by Senator Grassley.

Maybe if Keith Olbermann didn’t assume everybody he disagrees with is some combination of retarded, evil and dishonest, he’d avoid failling into traps himself.

Then again, I guess it doesn’t really matter– after all, not even Keith Olbermann watches Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

UPDATE: Here’s the video–

Not even Keith Olbermann watches Countdown with Keith Olbermann. Because if he did, surely he would remember that protesters have indeed been called “political terrorists”– by none other than Keith Olbermann.

More MSNBC comedy here.
UPDATE: More hilariously highfalution sanctimony (via Hot Air).