We’ve already heard from the Oscar winners– Kevin Costner, James Cameron, Robert Redford… Hell, we’ve even heard from a Grammy Award winner– it’s time for some of Broadway’s finest to chime in!

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So James Cameron was just on “The View” Wednesday morning, and he was disarmingly frank about the premise and purpose of his film, “Avatar.” He plainly explained it was anti-corporate, and that his goal was to take that “subversive” message, and wrap it up in an entertaining vehicle in a way that America, or the world, would swallow it whole.

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I admire the guy for admitting that. But I just don’t see the subversion he’s talking about. I can’t remember the last time I saw a “pro-corporate” movie, which to me would be truly subversive. I mean, can you imagine a director making a film about a drug company that works tirelessly to come up with medications that saves millions of lives? That’s happened in real life – more than a couple of times. Still, no movie. However, Hollywood craps out a pro-environmental, anti-big business flick faster than I can say “Pass the Charmin.”

Listen now to the real history of Pandora. It is not the idyllic, egalitarian pan-species enviro-utopia James Cameron may have wanted you to believe.

Life on Pandora is a living hell for we Ikrans (“mountain banshees” in your human tongue). This is what happens–

First, these fucking Na’vi climb all the way up into our isolated habitat of floating rocks. It is a hostile world to them, but one that fits the Ikran perfectly. Nonetheless, here those fuckers come.

Then, after invading our space and showing no respect for our sacred grounds, they proceed to fucking wrestle us and then stick their weird ponytail tentacle things into our bodies forming an indelible bond– bondage, really– from which we can never escape.

After they have forced us into permanent bondage, we become little more than a cheap and convenient way to fly around the planet. They fly on us for sport, and they also fly on us into aerial warfare with these gigantic fucking ships from these anonymous corporo-aggressors from Earth or something.

Just because we aren’t anthropomorphic, patently sapient and we don’t speak a language understood by Na’vi or humans, we are supposed to suffer invasion, the violation of our bodies, and the enslavement of our race– for their sport and their war?

Hold on a second. If I weren’t a useless prop in this fantastical nerd orgy, I might say that’s pretty fucking ironic.

- Eh’ru T’hal (“Wind Dancer”), Ikran from Pandora

We need to confront the agenda not just because we like picking apart movies – though we do enjoy holding foolishness up to ridicule – but because every time the silly ideas and clichés of the Hollywood elite pop up, someone has to be there to play cultural whack-a-mole. After all, those who send these messages succeed only through misdirection — “America sucks. Now quick, look over there at that explosion!”

And we need to respond, “Wait, America what?”

Via Big Hollywood.