IRVING, TX—According to sources within ExxonMobil’s global headquarters, Rex W. Tillerson, the company’s president, chairman, and CEO, was completely devastated Wednesday by what 18-year-old Skidmore College freshman Samantha Huestis was saying about him in her dorm room.

After aides abruptly pulled him the 58-year-old executive of a deepwater-exploration meeting, Tillerson was said to have gasped audibly and shake his head in apparent despair when notified that the communications major had charged ExxonMobil with “raping the environment” and had claimed that Tillerson himself “only cares about money.”

Legendary energy investor/trader T. Boone Pickens warns that the U.S.A. could lose any influence over the Iraqi oil sector after a military withdrawal in 2011. According to Pickens, “We leave there with the Chinese getting the oil.”

From the World Tribune:

Pickens urged Congress to demand a U.S. share of Iraqi oil exploration and development contracts.

In 2009, Iraq awarded its first oil contracts to foreigners, selecting British Petroleum and China’s state-owned CNPC. ExxonMobil and ConocoPhillips have been competing with Russia’s LukOil to develop Iraq’s West Quran oil field.

From MikeM:

yeah we should definitely get some oil out of them. or better yet, agree to access the 500 trillion gallons sitting offshore. but oil derricks would offend dolphins