PALO ALTO, CA – Vice President Al Gore announced on Monday the creation of a new “carbon credit” firm that will offer carbon emission offsets to wealthy international clients by suffocating non-rich Americans and climate change deniers.

The new firm, which is named Expiria, will target high net worth individuals and families whose appetite for private air travel and electricity-guzzling palatial homes has resulted in an unusually large carbon “footprint.”

While other carbon offset solutions exist, they depend to a great extent on renewable energy sources such as solar, wind, hydroelectric and biofuels. Gore described Expiria’s innovative solution to reducing emissions,

The great thing about our new technology is that it attacks the problem from three directions.

First, it provides a market for anybody from the wildly wealthy to the preposterously wealthy to cancel out the deleterious effects of their jet-setting lifestyle and shield themselves from cries of hypocrisy.

Second, it promises to eliminate a large segment of the human habitational cohort, thereby reducing the considerable emissions that humanoid bioentities make on an aggregate level– much of it simply by exhaling.

Third, Expiria has targeted for carbon-negation individuals who have expressed skepticism about global climate change. They’re already expelling poisonous carbon gas every time they open their mouth– there’s no need to tolerate their hateful anti-science either. That makes Expiria’s work much easier, creating a virtuous cycle between numbers one, two and three.

Much of the work is done by the Carbon-Negative Smothering Pillow^TM, a product manufactured by Gaiatech, another green tech company co-founded by Gore.

A non-rich American could not be reached for comment because we did not bother to contact any.

See also: New Al Gore Start-Up Manufactures Scientific Consensus

Gore was seated in the first row, along with his six fellow board members, in Apple’s Town Hall auditorium as several stockholders took turns either bashing or praising his high-profile views on climate change.

At the first opportunity for audience participation just several minutes into the proceeding, a longtime and well-known Apple shareholder–some would say gadfly–who introduced himself as Sheldon, stood at the microphone and urged against Gore’s re-election to the board. Gore “has become a laughingstock. The glaciers have not melted,” Sheldon said, referring to Gore’s views on global warming. “If his advice he gives to Apple is as faulty as his views on the environment then he doesn’t need to be re-elected.”

Via JammieWearingFool.

Climate change science is a wondrous intellectual activity. Great scientific minds have learned over the course of many decades to “read” the Earth’s history, in order to understand how the climate system works.

Related: Is There Any Problem Jeffrey Sachs Can’t Solve?

H/T Mike B.

The Bay Area just had its foggiest May in 50 years. And thanks to global warming, it’s about to get even foggier.

February 2010:

The sight of Golden Gate Bridge towering above the fog will become increasing rare as climate change warms San Francisco bay, scientists have found.

My prediction for a report circa 2011:

The amount of fog over the San Francisco bay this year is perfectly normal. Almost too normal– indeed, eerily normal. It can only be attributed to the global warming that imperils our planet.

H/T Mike B.

Via the White House Flickr/self-parody feed.

Although it has been only a little over twenty years since the Montreal Protocol, which effectively created a global ban on chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs), the interesting history of the ozone hole has slipped under the radar, largely eclipsed by the much greater story of the anthropogenic global warming fraud. It’s interesting to revisit the CFC/ozone depletion scam and note the striking similarities to the current campaign against CO_2.

If nothing else, it seems counterintuitive that the massive blizzards and record low temperatures we are experiencing are symptoms of global warming (anthropogenic or otherwise).

Here is some similarly inconvenient illogic from the CFC dress rehearsal:

Strangely, the most significant thinning of the ozone layer has been observed over the Antarctic. Most CFC use has been in the northern hemisphere.

…

[Human] health threats erupted, most notably the threat of an increased incidence of malignant melanoma. This is interesting, as melanoma is not influenced by UV-B radiation [which is blocked by ozone], but rather UV-A radiation (which is not blocked by ozone).

…

[T]he exact role of atmospheric CFCs remains uncertain. It appears that the primary catalyst of ozone depletion is atmospheric chlorine, and the most atmospheric chlorine by far is out-gassed from the oceans or emitted by volcanoes.

H/T Mike B.

[T]he latest AGW hystericist to employ the [precautionary principle] concept is Tom Friedman:

“When I see a problem that has even a 1 percent probability of occurring and is ‘irreversible’ and potentially ‘catastrophic,’ I buy insurance. That is what taking climate change seriously is all about.”

Well, I do that, too. But I buy insurance that has a price commensurate with the expected value (i.e., the cost of the disaster times the probability that it will occur). For instance, I’ll pay a few hundred bucks for a million-dollar policy against the small chance that I’ll kick off tomorrow. Presumably, Friedman assumes that the proposed palliatives of cap’n’tax or carbon taxes meet that criterion, but he doesn’t do the calculations for us, because he can’t. Warm mongers like him propose to spend trillions of dollars now to prevent an unknown amount of cost later, in defiance of the basic economic principle of discounting the value of future expenditures.

"Post-human" is what I call dessert.

OK, the title is a joke about polar bears eating humans. But the protests by the “post-human left” in Copenhagen are evidently not a joke:

Environmentalism, in its current embodiment as the Cult of Global Warming, has become the ultimate weapon of class warfare, except it is no longer class warfare, but species warfare. Say what you will about polar bears or penguins, but unlike every single human minority whose cause the left has tried to appropriate at one time or another—they are not likely to pad in from the North Pole and demand a seat at the table. This has made animal rights and environmentalism the perfect pet cause for the post-human left.

H/T Mitch.

The mythic ideal of Cincinnatus, the selfless citizen-legislator who reluctantly leaves his farm to serve the Republic, is incompatible with the combination of endless incumbency and gigantic amounts of government power. We are foolish to place our trust in a system that requires an impossible level of virtue from politicians to function as designed. A limited government can better protect the economic health of its citizens by policing corruption from the private sector, under the direction of term-limited representatives who will never become worth the risk of buying off.

Some of those mentioned in the emails have responded to our requests for comment by saying they must first chat with their lawyers. Others have offered legal threats and personal invective. Still others have said nothing at all. Those who have responded have insisted that the emails reveal nothing more than trivial data discrepancies and procedural debates.

Yet all of these nonresponses manage to underscore what may be the most revealing truth: That these scientists feel the public doesn’t have a right to know the basis for their climate-change predictions, even as their governments prepare staggeringly expensive legislation in response to them.

H/T Mike B.