HornBearDog Strikes Again!

The National Enquirer reports that two additional message therapists claim they were abused by Al Gore. The following incident allegedly took place at a Beverly Hills hotel when Al Gore was in town for the Oscars–

“The therapist claimed that when they were alone, Gore shrugged off a towel and stood naked in front of her.

“He pointed at his erect penis and ordered her, ‘Take care of THIS.’“

Contrary to the commonly held scientific conclusion that the Earth is getting warmer, a scientist who has written more than 150 peer-reviewed papers has unveiled evidence for his prediction that global cooling is coming soon.

Come on, people– we had a consensus! Damnit. Well, at a minimum this is going to be a big word processing challenge…

To get started, here are some useful tips for Al Gore et al. from the Microsoft website. This function probably works in Powerpoint, too (and with the words ”warming” and “cooling”):

How to Use Search and Replace

 You can automatically replace text — for example, you can replace “Acme” with “Apex.”

1. On the Edit menu, click Replace.
2. In the Find what box, enter the text that you want to search for.
3. In the Replace with box, enter the replacement text.
4. Select any other options that you want.
5. Click Find Next, Replace, or Replace All.

To cancel a search in progress, press ESC.

H/T Mike B.

From the American Thinker:

The environmental impact of Al Gore is growing faster than his waistline. The warmist con game has been very lucrative for the king of carbon credits. He and Tipper have just added to their collection of energy-gobbling homes with a nearly 9 million dollar 5 bedroom, 9 bath Italian-style villa in the celebrity-studded coastal enclave of Montecito, California, home to Oprah Winfry and many other celebrities. Al certainly likes living large. The home comes complete with 6 fireplaces. How are Al and Tip going to use them without generating carbon dioxide?

See also:
Al Gore called a “laughingstock” to his face at Apple shareholder meeting
New Carbon Credit Firm Achieves Offets By Smothering Non-Rich Americans
New Al Gore Start-Up Manufactures Scientific Consensus

PALO ALTO, CA – Vice President Al Gore announced on Monday the creation of a new “carbon credit” firm that will offer carbon emission offsets to wealthy international clients by suffocating non-rich Americans and climate change deniers.

The new firm, which is named Expiria, will target high net worth individuals and families whose appetite for private air travel and electricity-guzzling palatial homes has resulted in an unusually large carbon “footprint.”

While other carbon offset solutions exist, they depend to a great extent on renewable energy sources such as solar, wind, hydroelectric and biofuels. Gore described Expiria’s innovative solution to reducing emissions,

The great thing about our new technology is that it attacks the problem from three directions.

First, it provides a market for anybody from the wildly wealthy to the preposterously wealthy to cancel out the deleterious effects of their jet-setting lifestyle and shield themselves from cries of hypocrisy.

Second, it promises to eliminate a large segment of the human habitational cohort, thereby reducing the considerable emissions that humanoid bioentities make on an aggregate level– much of it simply by exhaling.

Third, Expiria has targeted for carbon-negation individuals who have expressed skepticism about global climate change. They’re already expelling poisonous carbon gas every time they open their mouth– there’s no need to tolerate their hateful anti-science either. That makes Expiria’s work much easier, creating a virtuous cycle between numbers one, two and three.

Much of the work is done by the Carbon-Negative Smothering Pillow^TM, a product manufactured by Gaiatech, another green tech company co-founded by Gore.

A non-rich American could not be reached for comment because we did not bother to contact any.

See also: New Al Gore Start-Up Manufactures Scientific Consensus

Gore was seated in the first row, along with his six fellow board members, in Apple’s Town Hall auditorium as several stockholders took turns either bashing or praising his high-profile views on climate change.

At the first opportunity for audience participation just several minutes into the proceeding, a longtime and well-known Apple shareholder–some would say gadfly–who introduced himself as Sheldon, stood at the microphone and urged against Gore’s re-election to the board. Gore “has become a laughingstock. The glaciers have not melted,” Sheldon said, referring to Gore’s views on global warming. “If his advice he gives to Apple is as faulty as his views on the environment then he doesn’t need to be re-elected.”

Via JammieWearingFool.

PALO ALTO – Vice President Al Gore has founded a new company through venture capital firm Kleiner Perkins (of which he is a partner) that develops, manufactures and markets scientific consensus to an unwitting public eager to accept credible-sounding theories from impressive-sounding organizations.

The new firm is named Consensa and it is expected initially to focus on climate and earth science, the field in which Gore has become an outspoken global advocate. However, Gore has suggested that the company may branch out into other areas including industrial policy, population control and nutrition.

Consensa counts among its early successes the manufactured consensus that polar bears experience a higher plane of consciousness than humans.

See also: New Carbon Credit Firm Achieves Offets By Smothering Non-Rich Americans

People think about geothermal energy — when they think about it at all — in terms of the hot water bubbling up in some places, but two kilometers or so down in most places there are these incredibly hot rocks, ’cause the interior of the earth is extremely hot, several million degrees, and the crust of the earth is hot …

Turns out that the he’s off by a factor of around 1,000. As John Derbyshire points out,

If the temperature anywhere inside the earth was ‘several million degrees,’ we’d be a star.

But can you really blame the Goreacle for thinking “millions” every time he begins to talk about new technology upon which he stands to make mountainous lucre?

Via John Derbyshire and Hot Air.

From Holman Jenkins at the WSJ:

But from our first column on this subject, we have been convinced that the scientific questions are interesting and irrelevant, since it was never in the cards that Western societies (or Brazil or India or China) would sacrifice economic growth for the uncertain benefits of fighting climate change. Unable to do anything meaningful about climate change, policy would therefore default to satisfying the demand of organized interests for climate pork.

Isn’t that, however much he may be distracted by feelings of sincerity, exactly the economic function of Mr. Gore today?

RELATED:
AL GORE: No, Diane Sawyer, I will not conform my diet to my value system
NY TIMES: Al Gore is amazingly awesome, not at all benefitting personally from his good works
The unsettling nature of an unsettled debate
The new business model: government connections

Exorbitantly wealthy liberal elites never have to behave according to the principles they express publicly– there’s always a company (which probably counts Al Gore among its owners) from whom they can purchase absolution. This is a secular religion, and credits/offsets are the indulgences.