missourah.com » Stupid and Random

Watch this now.

Moog Rogue — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 23:31:11 +0000

In the clip from “Saturday Night Live” below, Harry Shearer and Martin Short play a pair of men’s synchronized swimmers. Christopher Guest plays their coach.

It is one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

I recall first seeing the sketch in the late 80s or early 90s and I have searched for it ever since. Thankfully, somebody has uploaded it to Google Video (whatever that is) and at long last this treasure of mockumentarian comedy is viewable on demand.

H.L. Mencken Quote of the Day

Moog Rogue — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 12:37:55 +0000

What I admire most in any man is a serene spirit, a steady freedom from moral indignation, an all-embracing tolerance — in brief, what is commonly called good sportsmanship. Such a man … is frequently an eager gladiator, vastly enjoying opposition. But … he carefully guards his amour-propre by assuming that his opponent is as decent a man as he is, and just as honest — and perhaps, after all, right.

Via the H.L. Mencken Facebook page.

Smug Brit Glibly Summarizes America

Moog Rogue — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 23:26:19 +0000

In this segment from “Stephen Fry in America,” the foppish English actor writer gains field access to the Auburn-Alabama football game:

Fry’s litany of contradictory adjectives doesn’t encapsulate America; it demonstrates only that— even if America could be defined— the patronizing pedant Stephen Fry is not the one to do it.

Machine 1, Rage 0

Moog Rogue — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 00:14:41 +0000

I had a random, vague recollection of Serj Tankian making very silly faces in the music video for “Empty Walls.” (Tankian was the lead vocalist for the hyper-leftist, largely unlistenable nu metal band System of a Down.) I searched for the video on YouTube and was delighted to discover that Serj is hawking my favorite sandwich spread:

Serj wants you to know that he thinks you are a conformist zombie. And also that Kraft Mayo with olive oil now has cracked pepper!

I never made it to Serj’s silly faces because I couldn’t help wondering whether the Marxist revolutionaries of Rage Against The Machine had anything else to sell me…

Turns out they had at least 4 things to sell me.

"Never Neutral"? I guess that kind of works...

Whattapundit — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 15:07:59 +0000

Tourists To Japan Warned Not To Rely On Google Translate

Shittypundit — Mon, 16 May 2011 21:41:00 +0000

Every second, Google generates a mind-blowing 37,523 reasons to hate and distrust Google.

One recent example is what Google might be planning for your next visit to Japan:

On second thought, I advise you to avoid Japan altogether.

Joseph Pulitzer would be proud.

Moog Rogue — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 16:23:43 +0000

Busch Stadium has priciest beer in NL? Not really. But maybe.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch published this headline. Seriously.

Vampire vs. Bank

Moog Rogue — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 16:03:51 +0000

Forget Huntington’s “Clash of Civilizations”– the great conflict of our time is the undead vs. depository institutions…

Via The Daily What on Tumbr:

Vampire Vendetta of the Day: Patrick Rodgers — your average, everyday Philadelphian vampire — visits Fox & Friends to discuss how an old, obscure loophole he was able to find because he’s immortal allowed him to turn the tables on his bank and threaten their local branch with foreclosure.

Also: LOL epitaph. You’re immortal!

Tragically Ironic Predictions of the Day

Moog Rogue — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 03:59:46 +0000

The following two items appeared in the news today, February 10th, 2011:

1. Time magazine interviewed inventor/futurist/transhumanist Ray Kurzweil, who predicts the arrival of the technological Singularity in 2045.

(Simply put, the Singularity represents a period of rapidly accelerating technological change and the emergence of a superintelligence beyond the comprehension of human beings.)

The techno-utopia is only 3 decades away! That’s terrific! Except that…

2. Russian scientists have predicted that the asteroid Apophis– which is larger than two football fields– will collide with Earth on April 13, 2036 in a potentially apocalyptic event.

Goddamnit.

Fantastical Moral Dilemma Of The Day

Moog Rogue — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 00:34:15 +0000

You are a brilliant inventor who has just finished devising a time machine. You set your destination for 20 years ago. You have already resolved to live under a pseudonym in a distant city and make a series of massively profitable trades and/or bets in order to build, quietly and incrementally, colossal wealth.

You step into your time machine and initiate the countdown.

10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4…

Oh shit, the dial says 20 minutes! You frantically reach for the “abort” switch.

3… 2… 1…

A soundless white flash, and now you are looking directly into the eyes of yourself– a version of yourself that is 20 minutes younger and making final preparations to enter the machine.

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