missourah.com » I Hate Celebrities

Whattapundit — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 19:42:53 +0000

Whattapundit — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 16:40:25 +0000

Smug Brit Glibly Summarizes America

Moog Rogue — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 23:26:19 +0000

In this segment from “Stephen Fry in America,” the foppish English actor writer gains field access to the Auburn-Alabama football game:

Fry’s litany of contradictory adjectives doesn’t encapsulate America; it demonstrates only that— even if America could be defined— the patronizing pedant Stephen Fry is not the one to do it.

Matt Damon!

Moog Rogue — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 18:52:50 +0000

Matt Damon was recently asked his opinion on the debt ceiling debate and Obama’s desire to increase taxes. Damon, of course, is a man who is paid to pretend that he is somebody else by reciting words from memory and changing his facial expression. In other words– an authority on political philosophy and the American economy.

It does not matter that he fails to formulate a single coherent sentence or summon a single fact; Matt Damon is armed with a loose amalgamation of progressive talking points and the self-satisfaction of his own moral superiority.

Matt Damon on debt limit: ‘I’m so disgusted,’ ‘it’s criminal’ the wealthy are not paying more from Nicholas Ballasy on Vimeo.

Via Big Hollywood and Ace of Spades HQ.

Machine 1, Rage 0

Moog Rogue — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 00:14:41 +0000

I had a random, vague recollection of Serj Tankian making very silly faces in the music video for “Empty Walls.” (Tankian was the lead vocalist for the hyper-leftist, largely unlistenable nu metal band System of a Down.) I searched for the video on YouTube and was delighted to discover that Serj is hawking my favorite sandwich spread:

Serj wants you to know that he thinks you are a conformist zombie. And also that Kraft Mayo with olive oil now has cracked pepper!

I never made it to Serj’s silly faces because I couldn’t help wondering whether the Marxist revolutionaries of Rage Against The Machine had anything else to sell me…

Turns out they had at least 4 things to sell me.

"Never Neutral"? I guess that kind of works...

Michael Ian Black to caption drawings by idiot child

Moog Rogue — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 21:51:39 +0000

The Daily Caller reports that Michael Ian Black (“The State,” “Wet Hot American Summer”) will co-write a book with the flamboyantly stupid and insecure quasi-celebrity Meghan McCain:

Meghan, the daughter of Ariz. Sen. John McCain, tweeted on Tuesday, “SO EXCITED TO FINALLY ANNOUNCE – I’m writing my next book with a gosh darned Democrat.” The Arizona native also linked to a Publisher’s Weekly story, which confirms that she’s indeed teaming up with Michael Ian Black for a humor book titled, “Stupid for America.”

“Robert Guinsler at Sterling Lord brokered the deal for the unlikely duo, who met each other, hit it off, and then came up with the idea for the book,” Publisher’s Weekly wrote. “The pair will be touring the country this summer, talking to everyday Americans about politics, to find out why, as the publisher put it, the system is ’so f-ed up.’”

Today In Celebrity Self-Importance

Moog Rogue — Thu, 05 May 2011 18:08:27 +0000

That guy from that one movie in 1999 says Obama isn’t losing Hollywood. And I guess he would know because… he watches a lot of movies?
Aww. Sheryl Crow has mixed emotions about killing Obama. It must be a huge relief not actually to believe in anything.
Gasp! Rob Lowe flew on a 9/11 terrorist’s “dry run” flight. You may recall that Seth MacFarlane had a seat on one of the 9/11 planes but missed his flight. Because if 9/11 is about anything, it is about the persistent good fortune of celebrities.

Via Big Hollywood.

Know The Facts: Charlie Sheen

Moog Rogue — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 12:40:34 +0000

Charlie Sheen hasn’t slept since 1989, and that was when he slept with Chuck Norris’s wife.

Emilio Estevez is actually a hallucination Charlie Sheen had at a party at Judd Nelson’s house in 1984.

When Charlie Sheen takes the red pill, nothing happens. Then he punches a hooker.

Jim Morrison named “The Doors” after a series of glass doors he saw Charlie Sheen punch hookers through.

Cocaine was removed from the original formula for Coca-Cola because Charlie Sheen had already snorted it all.

I Hate Celebrities…

Moog Rogue — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 18:29:04 +0000

And evidently so does British critic David Thomson, Editor of The Biographical Dictionary Of Film. The Daily Mail has excerpts and this one is my favorite:

MATT DAMON: What’s most interesting about Damon is the very lack of good looks — and the feeling of a squashed and rebuilt face.

Matt Damon’s strident, leftist politics are really annoying, too, but Thomson is correct– above all, Matt Damon has a weird face.

New Comedy Reportedly Does Not Star Zach Galifianakis

Ironic Commando — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:53:59 +0000

SAINT LOUIS - A Missouri film production company has taken a gamble on a groundbreaking new comedy which shirks convention by declining to cast actor Zach Galifianakis. The film, whose working title is “Missouri Loves Company,” will reportedly not employ Galifiniakis’s familiar comedic talents as an endearingly off-kilter and dishevelled sidekick.

Galifiniakis is Greek for "ubiquitous."

Although Galifiniakis was hired to provide voiceover work for the film, the scenes were ultimately deleted to meet a targeted running time of 20 minutes.