In this segment from “Stephen Fry in America,” the foppish English actor writer gains field access to the Auburn-Alabama football game:

Fry’s litany of contradictory adjectives doesn’t encapsulate America; it demonstrates only that— even if America could be defined— the patronizing pedant Stephen Fry is not the one to do it.

Matt Damon was recently asked his opinion on the debt ceiling debate and Obama’s desire to increase taxes. Damon, of course, is a man who is paid to pretend that he is somebody else by reciting words from memory and changing his facial expression. In other words– an authority on political philosophy and the American economy.

It does not matter that he fails to formulate a single coherent sentence or summon a single fact; Matt Damon is armed with a loose amalgamation of progressive talking points and the self-satisfaction of his own moral superiority.

Matt Damon on debt limit: ‘I’m so disgusted,’ ‘it’s criminal’ the wealthy are not paying more from Nicholas Ballasy on Vimeo.

Via Big Hollywood and Ace of Spades HQ.

I had a random, vague recollection of Serj Tankian making very silly faces in the music video for “Empty Walls.” (Tankian was the lead vocalist for the hyper-leftist, largely unlistenable nu metal band System of a Down.) I searched for the video on YouTube and was delighted to discover that Serj is hawking my favorite sandwich spread:

Serj wants you to know that he thinks you are a conformist zombie. And also that Kraft Mayo with olive oil now has cracked pepper!

I never made it to Serj’s silly faces because I couldn’t help wondering whether the Marxist revolutionaries of Rage Against The Machine had anything else to sell me…

Turns out they had at least 4 things to sell me.

"Never Neutral"? I guess that kind of works...

The Daily Caller reports that Michael Ian Black (“The State,” “Wet Hot American Summer”) will co-write a book with the flamboyantly stupid and insecure quasi-celebrity Meghan McCain:

Meghan, the daughter of Ariz. Sen. John McCain, tweeted on Tuesday, “SO EXCITED TO FINALLY ANNOUNCE – I’m writing my next book with a gosh darned Democrat.” The Arizona native also linked to a Publisher’s Weekly story, which confirms that she’s indeed teaming up with Michael Ian Black for a humor book titled, “Stupid for America.”

“Robert Guinsler at Sterling Lord brokered the deal for the unlikely duo, who met each other, hit it off, and then came up with the idea for the book,” Publisher’s Weekly wrote. “The pair will be touring the country this summer, talking to everyday Americans about politics, to find out why, as the publisher put it, the system is ’so f-ed up.’”

See also:
Meghan McCain’s Adventures in Hyperbole
EXCLUSIVE: Missourah.com Reveals The Cover Of Meghan McCain’s New Book
Guest Blogger: Meghan McCain

1. That guy from that one movie in 1999 says Obama isn’t losing Hollywood. And I guess he would know because… he watches a lot of movies?
2. Aww. Sheryl Crow has mixed emotions about killing Obama. It must be a huge relief not actually to believe in anything.
3. Gasp! Rob Lowe flew on a 9/11 terrorist’s “dry run” flight. You may recall that Seth MacFarlane had a seat on one of the 9/11 planes but missed his flight. Because if 9/11 is about anything, it is about the persistent good fortune of celebrities.

Via Big Hollywood.

Charlie Sheen hasn’t slept since 1989, and that was when he slept with Chuck Norris’s wife.

Emilio Estevez is actually a hallucination Charlie Sheen had at a party at Judd Nelson’s house in 1984.

When Charlie Sheen takes the red pill, nothing happens. Then he punches a hooker.

Jim Morrison named “The Doors” after a series of glass doors he saw Charlie Sheen punch hookers through.

Cocaine was removed from the original formula for Coca-Cola because Charlie Sheen had already snorted it all.