New iPhone Update Prevents Outbound Calls If User Is Mel Gibson
CUPERTINO, CA – Apple Inc. announced today that the next update to the iPhone operating system (iOS) will correct bugs that have overstated signal reception, slowed processing speeds and permitted sociopathic celebrity Mel Gibson to place phone calls to other human beings.
The flaw in the existing version of the iOS has mistakenly allowed Mel Gibson to place phone calls which are not only horrifyingly insane to the person who answers them, but irrecoverably devastating to the professional reputation of Mel Gibson.
