President Obama has taken his Nobel award to heart…a “call to action” he said.  It’s time for a clean sweep of every award in the world.

• On the rumor that Obama was writing an article about how neat it was to win the Nobel Peace Prize, he immediately won a Pulitzer.
• Upon hearing about the Nobel, Hollywood collectively projectile vomited Best Picture and Best Actor Oscars towards the White House.
• Having already won two Grammys, the award itself will be renamed “Obama’s voice makes me tingly” and will all go directly to Obama in the future.
• Not only has Obama been inducted into the bowling hall of fame, but all other bowlers have been kicked out, and the highest possible score in bowling has been changed to 20, to reflect the greatness of Obama’s score of 37.
• For intending to close the Guantanimo Bay Prison, hundreds of humanitarian award committees have decided to combine resources and build a two hundred foot high solid gold statue of Obama engraved simply with the word “Winner”.
• Finally, in a controversial move which thrown the world community into turmoil and had the side effect of solving the religious debate of milennia, Jesus has taken time off from ruling in heaven to create an award called simply “Best Human Ever”, given to Obama for being, as Jesus himself claimed, “Everything I wish I could have been on Earth”.